your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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