Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
