i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
