No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize