I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
