so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize