all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
