You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
