He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
