guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
