the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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