My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
