I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
