Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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