I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
