I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
