I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
