And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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