My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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