Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
