I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
