Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
