Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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