We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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