Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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