is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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