i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
