Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
