i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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