their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
