I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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