i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
