It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
