I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
