I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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