$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i think i just lost a toe
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
