oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
