Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
