omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
