Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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