You can't special order awesome
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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