i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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