she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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