I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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