I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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