yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
