Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
