Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he fucked my hip out of place.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
