I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
