Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
