I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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