just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
