I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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