I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
