Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
