Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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