i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
