office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I will be naked everywhere
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
