I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
