sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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